I Only Want To When I Don't Have To

We have entered a new realm of crazy. It used to be that whenever I had "work writing" to work on, my mind would automatically want to focus on "me writing" and would refuse to direct its attention toward "work writing" until the last possible moment before my deadline hit.

I have to versus I want to, you know that whole thing ...

Well, now, my "me writing" is actually also "school writing," which means it does, in fact, have to be done.

Have to ...

Which means ... do you see where I'm going with this? It means a lot of staring my computer screen, nursing a bottomless cup of coffee. It means a lot of panic in my core, wondering how I'll be able to finish all of these have-tos. It means that I've let the fear of having to stall me from wanting to.

Step inside my brain. It's lovely in here. By lovely, I mean impossible.