The Missing Link

My friend Lillawa came for a visit this weekend.  It was the first time I'd seen her since 2007, though I wish I could see her -- and my friends Alexis and Rachel -- on a much more frequent basis.  We all met as freshmen in 2000, wide-eyed and ready to take on the world.  Now, nearly a decade has passed and we've all undergone some life changes.  At our core, though, I think we're those same 18-year-olds, a jumbled mess of silly and confused and brave and cautious and kind and cruel and smart and dumb.  

Sometimes, I feel so far from that 18-year-old girl I once was.  And sometimes, it feels good to be reminded of how close to her I still am.  Being around Lillawa always reminds me.

  On the surface, our common interests are basic: We like food -- oh, so much food -- and beer and movies and books and shopping.  We like people-watching and browsing and coffee and road trips.  We like to take our time in the morning, we like handmade jewelry, and we like overhearing memorable quotes.  

We also like to make each other laugh and we know what makes each other cry.  We're fiercely protective of each other and we're more than willing to take down -- or at least threaten -- or at least talk about threatening -- anyone who dares hurt the other.  We can say a lot by saying a little; we do, often.  If we were ever to team up for the game Taboo, we would kill the competition with our mind-reading skills.

We can amuse ourselves as much with dinner and a movie in as we can with a full night out.  We laugh as much when we're in sweats and ponytails as we do when we're about town.  We speak the same language to each other when we first wake up -- although that may be early afternoon -- as we do in the last moments before saying goodnight.

To have a best friend who gets you, and who loves you wholeheartedly, and who knows that you just want some little tubes of lotion and lip gloss for Christmas, and who knows you never need reminding of how stupid it was to date that one guy but also knows you need constant reminding that you can and will make it in your industry ... Everyone needs and deserves such a best friend.

Mine came for a visit this weekend.  We ate the pizza, drank the beer, went to the movies, ordered the Thai food, wandered the aisles of Powells, took the silly photos, made room for the dessert, and knocked back the multiple cups of coffee, just as we would have nine years ago, and five years ago, and two.

Because no matter how much we change over the years, our friendship remains -- a reminder of who we were, who we are, and who the heck we're still trying to be.