The Life and Death of Kristen Forbes

There are six girls who share the name Kristen Forbes (that I know of, anyway). I never expected this -- I know that Kristen isn't the rarest name ever, but I figured the combination of first and last name was somewhat unique. But there are five other girls out there, which I discovered several years ago on Facebook.

Intrigued by the fact we share the same name, I added these girls as my Facebook friends. I don't know them, but I've seen pictures of them. I've read snippets about them. I have a feel for the kind of lives they lead.

One of them got married this year, so she's no longer an official Kristen Forbes. One of them lives in LA and another is always attending sorority reunions. These are the types of things you learn via Facebook. There's the Kristen Forbes who wears her hair short and then there's the Kristen Forbes who, I found out several days ago, died in June.

It's strange to read your own name, followed by "passed away." But that's what happened to this Kristen Forbes -- she passed away, after battling cervical cancer, at the age of 23. On November 15, she would have been 24. These are the types of things you learn via Facebook.

This note right here is the one I clicked on to find out this information:

"Kristen's book is finally finished and at the publishers!! She always wanted to be published.StandUp2Cancer.org is featuring the book in their magazine. She is on the front cover!! The article is only a small bit of the book to be available in late January.The following is a link to the cover and her story:"

http://www.standup2cancer.org/magazine

http://www.standup2cancer.org/node/3218

I never knew her -- we just happen to share the same name. But for some reason, ever since I found out she'd passed away, I can't stop thinking about her. A friend of hers keeps her Facebook page going as a memorial to her, and I find myself checking it often. Her friends still leave her comments, telling her how much they miss her. And all of the information she'd added to the page before her death is still there.

There's only so much you can learn about a person from Facebook, but this is what I've deduced: She was beautiful. She was really, really loved by her family and friends. She was silly and had a great sense of humor. She had a positive outlook and was definitely not the type of person to let cancer get her down. She was strong beyond belief. She was young, full of optimism, and had a lot ahead of her.

Sometimes I'll look at her page and wonder, Why that Kristen Forbes? I know it's strange, but I get the feeling that if I had known her, I would have really, really liked her. And I know it's strange, but as I was looking at her photos the other day -- pictures from last Christmas with her family, sitting on a couch, surrounded by little kids, smiling -- I couldn't stop myself from crying over this girl I don't know.

It's strange, the connections we share with others in this world. Sometimes it's common interests or beliefs that bind us together. In this case, it's a name. It's an identity. It's everything that I am -- I am Kristen Forbes and so was she. Six months ago, she was still here. And now...

She looks like she knew how to live it up, how to get the most out of all that life had to offer. I think she sought out the humor and joy and I bet she lived fearlessly and happily. I don't know why it is, but for some reason I see the funny comments that she wrote and I see how much her friends loved her and I am so inspired by the life that she led. And I'm so proud we share a name.

And I don't know her at all, but I miss her very much.

(The book that comes out in January is a collaboration between Kristen and her dad, who wrote during and after her treatment. In the description I read, her dad said he hoped the book would reach all women who have been or will be affected by cervical cancer. It is called Love, Kristen.)